Dear Willow,

You are four years old as I write this, and I want you to know how grateful I am for you.

I am grateful I get to know you. I am grateful I get to raise you. I am grateful I get to watch you grow and become your own little person every single day.

You are my first baby.

You taught me everything I know about being a mother. I was learning right alongside you, and you have seen both the hardest parts of my motherhood and the best parts.

Being your mom is honestly one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I can't imagine my life without you.

You came into my life during a time when I needed you more than you will ever understand. You gave me a reason to keep going when I was in one of the darkest places I've ever been. I will always be grateful for you.

I wouldn't trade you for anything in this world.

You are so smart. You are so kind. You have such a big heart, and I hope you always keep it.

I want you to get everything you want out of this life. I want you to chase your dreams, find out who you are, and never feel like you have to change yourself to make other people happy.

You are the best little girl I could have ever been blessed with as my first child.

Watching you become a big sister has also been one of my favorite things. You are so sweet with your sister. Of course, you can be a little mean sometimes too, because you're four, and four-year-olds have their moments. 😂 But underneath all of that, I see how much love you have in your heart.

I hope you never lose that.

I hope you always know how deeply you are loved.

I hope when you read this someday, you know how proud I was to be your mom from the very beginning.

You were my first baby, Willow.

And you always will be. 🩵

Love,
Mom

Dear Hazel,

You were so little when I met you.

I actually met you before I ever met your brother, before your dad and I ever started dating. Your dad brought you into work one day, and there you were.

You hadn't even really started walking yet.

It's crazy to think about that little girl I met back then and compare her to the four-year-old you are now. You have grown so much, and somehow, along the way, we became so close.

I hope we always stay that way.

You and Willow became best friends almost immediately, and from the second I laid eyes on you, I fell in love with you too.

I didn't grow you in my belly, but I don't think love has to come from sharing DNA.

I wouldn't change my role in your life for anything.

You have an amazing mom, and I feel lucky to call her my friend. I will always respect the place she has in your life. I'm simply grateful I get to have a place in it too.

I love being here to help teach you what I know, cheer you on, make memories with you, and watch you grow into the person you're becoming.

You definitely have the most attitude out of all the kids. 😂

But underneath that attitude is such a sweet, loving little girl.

You're shy at first. You're kind. You're affectionate. And once you feel comfortable, your personality comes shining through.

I'm so lucky I get to know you.

I'm so lucky I get to watch you grow.

And I'm so lucky I get to love you.

You may not have started out as my daughter, but you became such an important part of my heart and our family.

I hope you always know how much you mean to me, Hazel.

And I hope when you're older and you read this, you know how grateful I am that life brought you into mine. 🩵

Love,
Kiley

Dear James,

You are the kindest boy.

You were only a baby when I met you. I still remember rocking you to sleep, and sometimes I can't believe how much you've grown since then.

With you, things weren't immediate. You really made me work for your love, and honestly, I'm grateful for that.

Every day, I had to show you that I loved you.

Little by little, we became closer. I got to know you, you got to know me, and somewhere along the way, we built something that means so much to me.

You are probably the closest thing I will ever have to a son of my own, and I wouldn't change that.

Honestly, I don't see you any differently than I see any of the other kids.

You are my family.

I've always wanted a little boy. Ever since I knew I wanted to be a mom, I dreamed about having a son. I think you were God's little gift to me in a way I never expected.

You show your love in the sweetest little ways.

Asking me to tickle your back.

Asking me to help you fix something.

Coming to me when you need something.

Those little moments might seem small, but they mean so much to me.

I love that this is how you show me you trust me.

I hope we continue to grow together.

I hope you always know you have someone in your corner.

And I hope when you read this someday, you know how much I have loved watching our relationship grow, one little moment at a time.

You didn't have to call me Mom for me to love you like my own.

You became my boy in your own way.

And I'm so grateful you did. 🩵

Love,
Kiley

Dear Billie,

As of right now, you are my youngest, my last baby, and you definitely act like it.

You are so spoiled by me, your dad, and all three of your siblings. Everybody just loves you so much.

Watching you grow is so bittersweet. Knowing these might be the last times I get to experience these firsts makes me want to slow everything down and hold onto every little moment.

You remind me of your siblings in so many little ways.

You're growing so fast, just like Willow did. You're just as sassy as Hazel. And you love using me as your own personal chair, just like James.

But even with all those little pieces of your siblings in you, you are still completely your own person.

Your favorite thing right now is “If You're Happy and You Know It.” You light up when we clap our hands together.

You're also obsessed with Ms. Rachel. 😂

You're definitely my little gremlin. You won't let me do your hair, you love getting dirty, and somehow you always manage to keep me on my toes.

But I wouldn't change a thing.

You are teaching me to slow down.

With you, I'm realizing how quickly these years go. I didn't realize how fast everything went with your siblings, and this time I'm trying so hard to soak it all in.

I'm taking more pictures.

I'm paying attention to the little things.

I'm trying to remember the way you laugh, the things you love, the silly things you do, and all the little pieces of you that will change before I even realize they're gone.

As soon as we had you, I couldn't imagine our family any other way.

I'm so happy you came when you did.

I hope by the time you're old enough to read this, I've told you all the stories about how we made the decision to have you. I hope you know how wanted you were and how much love was already waiting for you.

I wouldn't change a thing.

Not one decision.

Not one moment.

Not one part of our story.

You completed our family in a way I didn't know we needed.

You are my last baby, Billie.

And I'm going to soak up every second I get with you. 🩵

Love,
Mom