FINDING YOURSELF · SEPTEMBER 14, 2026
Finding Myself Again
Before I got pregnant, I had no real desire to become a mother anytime soon.
I was in high school, and while I always knew I wanted kids someday, motherhood was something I imagined happening well into my 20s. I had other plans for myself. I wanted to go away to college. I wanted to become a nurse. I wanted to grow up, experience life, and reach all of those big milestones before becoming someone’s mom.
I didn’t realize I would be growing up alongside a baby.
I didn’t realize I would be celebrating my own milestones while watching my daughter reach hers at the same time.
And honestly, sometimes I wonder if becoming a mother so young was exactly what I needed.
Sometimes I think I was trying to move too fast. I wanted to leave. I wanted to grow up. I wanted to get away from everything I knew.
Other times, I really believe God knew the path I was heading down wasn’t the best one for me.
I truly believe my daughter saved me.
Having her meant I had to grow up very quickly. I had to learn how to be responsible, how to make decisions for myself, and how to do things I had never done before.
Before I got pregnant, I was so dependent on other people. I didn’t know how to do much on my own. I wasn’t even comfortable making my own doctor’s appointments.
Then I found out I was pregnant.
And I was terrified.
I was so scared to tell my family that, for a while, I was figuring things out mostly on my own, with the help of one of my closest friends and her mom. They supported me through a time when I was honestly just a scared kid trying to figure out what I was supposed to do next. I’m still close with them to this day, and I will always be grateful for the way they showed up for me.
I was a scared child.
I was scared of the world. Scared of making the wrong decisions. Scared of doing things on my own.
But then I had my daughter.
And somewhere along the way, something changed in me.
I started realizing that if I had to, I could figure things out. I could make the phone call. I could make the appointment. I could handle the hard things. I could advocate for my child. I could keep going even when I was scared.
I developed a confidence in myself that I didn’t have before.
And honestly, I love that part of me.
I’m definitely not the same person I was before I became a mother. Anyone who knew me back then probably wouldn’t recognize me now.
But for a while, I didn’t recognize myself either.
After I had my daughter, there was a period where I felt like I was just a shell of a person living on autopilot. I knew how to be Mom. I knew how to take care of my baby. But I didn’t really know who I was outside of that.
So I had to find myself again.
I had to figure out what I liked. What I didn’t like. What made me happy. What made me feel like me.
And one of the hardest parts was realizing that I could love being a mom with my whole heart while still being a person outside of motherhood.
Motherhood is a huge part of my identity. I love being a mom, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.
But I’m also still a 22-year-old girl.
I still like sitting down and doing my makeup.
I still like going shopping every once in a while.
And honestly, one of my favorite things to do is walk around Walmart when I don’t have my kids. 😂
I don’t go out much. I don’t party anymore—not that I ever really did. I can probably count the number of parties I’ve been to on one hand.
But I think I’ve grown into a much better version of myself than the person I was before.
I’m still learning.
I’m still growing.
I’m still figuring out who I am.
And maybe that’s the part of finding yourself that I didn’t understand before.
You don’t necessarily find yourself one day and suddenly have everything figured out.
Sometimes you find yourself little by little.
In the confidence you didn’t have before.
In the things you learn to do on your own.
In realizing what you deserve.
In laughing at yourself while walking around Walmart alone.
In putting on makeup just because you want to.
In remembering that you’re more than one role, even when that role means everything to you.
I’m still a mom.
I’ll always be a mom.
But I’m also Kiley.
And every day, I’m learning a little more about who she is.
Maybe I haven’t completely found myself yet.
But I think I’m getting pretty close. 🩵
REAL TALK · SEPTEMBER 13, 2026
Learning From My Messy Seasons
My motherhood journey hasn’t been the easiest. And becoming part of a blended family has come with some very messy parts too.
I know that I’ve done a lot of things wrong. I know there are things I wish I could go back and do differently. But I’m growing, I’m learning every day, and I want to be open about that.
When I first became part of a blended family, I didn’t even really understand what that meant. I was figuring everything out as I went, and looking back, I feel like I made some things ten times harder than they ever had to be.
I was struggling with my mental health during that time, and I know that affected the way I handled certain situations. I stirred up a lot of issues that didn’t necessarily need to be started, and there are things I wish I had handled differently.
I’m not sharing this because I want sympathy or because I’m trying to make excuses for the things I did.
I’m sharing it because I think there is something important about being able to say, “I was wrong, and I’m trying to do better.”
Every day, I’m working toward making things better for our blended family. I’m learning how to communicate better, how to handle situations differently, and how to be more thoughtful about the role I have in our family.
And honestly, part of that growth is accepting that I can’t change what happened in the beginning.
I can only change what I do from here.
I want to make up for the things I got wrong, not by pretending they never happened, but by showing through my actions that I’ve learned from them.
I’m still learning.
I’m still growing.
And I’m still figuring out what it means to be the best version of myself for my kids, my partner, and our family.
This is the messy side of motherhood and family life that you don’t always see.
But I think it deserves to be talked about too. 🩵
Follow Along
Come hang out with me on social media 🩵